Is it my turn yet?


 

"Is it my turn yet?"

A question going through the mind of every child that is learning the importance of sharing and turn taking. Waiting for our turn can seem to take an eternity but for the child holding the object of the other child's desire; it seems like time passed a little too quickly.

How can we help our little ones navigate this crucial part of social development? 

The first step is to keep our expectations age appropriate. 

We can't expect more than they are developmentally ready for. 

With our infants and younger toddlers/early preschoolers we are still engaged in parallel play so turn taking/sharing does not always happen naturally. You can encourage children of this age to work on those skills with activities such as rolling a ball to each other or completing a puzzle together. From 0-3 we are introducing and modeling but not expecting them to master the skill.

Our older preschoolers move out of parallel play and into interacting with their peers, so this is a great time to really start working on sharing/turn taking. 

By the time they start kindergarten children are better communicators and are able to wait longer periods of time so sharing/turn taking comes more naturally and we can set our expectations accordingly.

The second step is to set them up for success!

Here are some tips on how to do that:

1. Let your child have things that they do not have to share. Create a safe space for them to place those things to play with when they are on their own. 

2. Talk through expectations and scenarios before they go into a space that they will need to share with others. We want to do this before, when they are calm and in a good head space.

3. Use external cues like a timer or music. Sing the transitions, use ready/stop, etc.

4. Teach them the words they need to use, such as; May I have a turn? When can I have a turn? Can I trade with you? 

5. Teach them about trading and what to do when someone says no. 

6. Tell them what TO do instead of what NOT to do. Instead of saying "No!" or "Don't take that!" give them a clear example of what they should do. "Zoey is playing with that right now, we need to wait our turn" "Ask Zoey if you may have a turn." "Let's do the puzzle together."

Sharing and turn taking, just like any other skill, take a lot of patience, repetition, and practice. Practice does not make perfection, practice makes progress. 


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